


Amour Fou

by misxnthrope_jpg



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: All that cute ass shit, Apologies, Basically Will ruins everything, Eiffel Tower, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Hotels, Light Angst, M/M, Makeup Kisses, Noncommittal Will, Oblivious Will, Paris (City), Vacation, cold shoulder, you know how it be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-23 05:38:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17074400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misxnthrope_jpg/pseuds/misxnthrope_jpg
Summary: I love you and it's driving me insane.Will is travelling to Paris again. Why? He needs a change. He can never stay in one place too long.Stephen knows this. He and Will have had a friends with benefits thing since they've known each-other. Stephen wants something more.





	Amour Fou

Paris, France. The infamous city of love. Romance at it's finest. Travelling down the streets with your lover, hand-in-hand, gazing at store-fronts and flowers, marvelling at the ancient architecture and the beauty that is the French language. Did you know that 45% of English words originate from French? Maybe it isn't that special.

I should be enjoying myself. I should be happy, but the gnawing feeling of bitterness is hard to ignore. Will said it would be fun. A vacation! Take a break from online. I never post anyways, but Will seemed so excited. I said okay. Wish I didn't. It's hard to be around him anymore. It's not an innocent pastime anymore. 

"Look at that, Ste!" Will leans in closer to me, matching his finger with my line of sight. I squint my eyes and train my eyes on the tower Will is gesturing towards. 

"Yeah," I say. It's the Eiffel tower. The whole reason we left our hotel in the first place. I would have left either way, with Will or without, but he volunteered the idea before I could completely wreck myself on some exotic French wines that would bust my budget. I would've taken Will's wallet. He wouldn't have cared.

That's how this works. That's how we work. Flexibility. Apathy.

I don't care that you don't care for me. That's how we work.

I look up from the pavement and find Will looking at me. His brows knit over his eyes, which are searching my own. I don't let him get far.

"How long d'you think it'll take for us to get there?" I ask. Will opens his mouth to speak, but doesn't. He peers over at the monument, which is, for the most part, shrouded from view by the buildings lining the street. The sun is just visible over the roof-tops and not a cloud is to be seen. Everyone is trying to get somewhere and usually, I wouldn't be bothered by the large mass of people. But, as we've already established, today is not my day.

"Really don't know. What're you anyways; some toddler? We'll get there in time." Will laughs. I'm too tired to. We lapse into silence once again.

That's how we work.

— —

Even in my cranky mood, I'm not thick enough to deny the fact that the structure is something to behold. The skeletal building stretches into the sky and is silhouetted by the fiery orb that is the sun. People line the walkways, all staring up at the massive tower. I'm stood next to Will, who is following the crowd in their exercise of admiring the building. While he's busy doing this, I've taken the opportunity to admire him.

"Really lovely, innit?" Will speaks up. He looks at me and I look at the tower.

I nod, too scared to say anything. It's hard to keep up the mask around him. I don't want to make any off-hand comments. I'm tired of always being treated as a joke. I really do mean it when I say you're the love of my life you knob head.

I feel a warmth trail around my hand and whip my head towards the source, startled. Will is gazing at the structure, giving his best shot at taking my hand in his.

Oh, he really knows how to drive the nail into the coffin.

I immediately take my hand away and shove it deep into my pockets. I stare back up at the building before I can view Will's expression. It's too much. He wouldn't understand.

There's a moment of unnerving silence. I focus on cherishing the beauty of the Eiffel tower. "Stephen, are you okay?" I hear Will whisper next to me. These words send a pang through my chest.

The last thing I want to do is to concern Will, but it seems inescapable. I don't respond and I definitely don't return Will's stare. I wish he could disappear.

"Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Will says. His voice is soft and imploring. He's too kind it makes me want to rip my hair out. Kind, yet oblivious. The worst combination.

I nod. Maybe I could derive some solitude. Time to think over how the fuck I'm supposed to tackle this. Lord knows I'm getting nowhere.

"C'mon then. Let's go."

— —

We enter our hotel room, sparsely decorated if not for the singular painting hung above the queen bed. I'm irritated about Will ordering a room with only one bed. Annoyed partly because he didn't consult me beforehand, but also what this means. His motives are still the same. Still meaningless sex and blissful kisses. It's still all just fun and games. Vacations to France and solitary queen beds.

_"Look at the Eiffel Tower. Isn't it pretty?"_

_Not as pretty as you. Never as pretty as you._

We'd defined what we were long ago. Friends with benefits. We both made sure that we knew this was the extent of our relationship. Together we drew thick boundaries of what was allowed and what wasn't. Somehow I'd wandered over them, even though they were made solely to prevent this. Couldn't help myself. 

I make a bee-line to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress and kicking off my shoes before arranging myself under the covers. I sigh and shut my eyes, hoping and praying that Will could wrap it around his cubed skull that I just want to be alone.

Some things are too good to be true though.

Takes a solid ten seconds for the mattress to sink underneath the new-found weight. I open my eyes to find Will straddling my hips. His hair is perfectly fucked up and his lips are curved into the sexiest smirk I could ever dream of. I hate every bit of it. 

Will cocks a brow at me. He settles his hand onto my shoulders and lowers himself down. His torso is flush with my own and the duvet separating us is the only thing that manages to calm my racing heart. However, it doesn't erase the fact that I can still feel the soft rise of Will's chest as he breathes. I stay still.

He brushes his nose against mine in a gentle greeting and proceeds to connect our lips. He starts off steady, but I know he has every intention to continue to up the bar until he's fucking me senseless.

I can't take it anymore. 

I don't even mean to. I'm not responding to any of Will's advances, but I really didn't mean to start crying. Before I can wipe away my tears, Will moves his face away from mine. He looks confused at first, but when he takes in my face this transforms into worry.

"Stephen, what the fuck?" He exclaims, flicking his eyes between my own. I take in a gulp of air and make quick haste in drying my eyes. When I remove my hands from my face Will is still staring at me. "What's going on? What's wrong?" His words are meant to be comforting, but they only manage to unsettle me further.

I don't respond to him. How could I? How could I be so selfish as to ruin this for him? To ruin us because I went too far.

I look anywhere but into Will's eyes. I'm scared I'll break into tears again and wreck everything further. Fucking emotions, am I right?

"You've been so distant recently. You don't know how worried I've been about you! Stephen. Stephen, look at me!" He grabs my face with his hands and jerks it towards him. I've no choice but to meet his eyes. Those brown gems. Will's voice is quieter when he speaks again. Calmer. Sincere. "You can always talk to me. You know that, right?"

I nod hesitantly. If I talk I'll cry and if I hear him talk any longer I'll cry and if I look at his face any longer I'll cry. So it's inevitable really. Gladly, Will doesn't notice as he sits back up and runs a hand through his hair; his legs still bound around my hips.

"I came out here for  _you_ , I hope you know. You looked so down all the time and I thought some time just for us would be good. I thought it would fix everything," Will muses aloud. His eyes are locked on the window. The curtains are drawn to the sides and a bird is perched on the sill. It flies off and Will glances back down to me. 

I'm a mess.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks, voice dropping to a whisper once more. He looks pained. I didn't want to hurt him. There's no way around it though, "Did I?"

I cover my eyes and shake my head. I don't want to look at him.

"Please talk to me," Will's voice is shaky and I can't take it any longer. 

"I-" My voice comes out scratchy and it makes me wince. My eyes are sore from rubbing them too much. I'd love to be anywhere but here. "Will, I..."

_I can't say it._

"Stephen, you can tell me." Will's voice is soothing and irritating at the same time. I remove my hands from my face and take in Will's appearance. The sun reflecting from the window sends shadows across his face and his eyes gleam in the light. It pains me how much I care for him. Makes my stomach churn and my breathing go slack.

"I really can't though." My words are rushed and quiet to the point that I'm unsure if Will heard me. He studies my tear-stained face and sighs.

"I'm sure it's not that bad-"

"You don't get it!" I hiss out, eyes pleading for him to understand.  _Just drop it. Please just drop it!_

Fresh tears begin to well up once more and I scramble to cease their race. An uncomfortable silence looms over us, only interrupted by my sniffles. I take a deep, shuddering breath.

"I—..." _Fuck am I seriously going to—_ "I love you"

The world doesn't freeze like I thought it would. The chirping of birds continues, as does my breathing.

Will, however, does freeze. His face falls and his arms go limp around his sides. There's a moment where we share eye-contact and I feel my world crashing around me.

I shouldn't feel bad. I'm entitled to my feelings.

It still feels wrong. Like I'm in over my head.

Will, agonizingly slowly, swings his leg over my hips and moves to sit on the edge of the bed.

As his weight leaves my body, I don't feel released. No. Not in the slightest. I'm more tied down to this connection than anything before.

Will has moved so I'm unable to view his face. I shift so I'm sitting on my bottom. I still my breathing to the best of my ability. But oh fuck, oh fuck, I really said that, didn't I?

shitshitshitshitshit.

"Will, I'm so sorry," I choke out. I watch the line of his shoulders as he hunches in on himself. I can practically see the gears turning in his head as he weighs over my words. 

Will takes a deep breath and I brace myself for whatever move he's going to make next. Is he going to let me down easy, or state the facts? Is there any chance that he could even reciprocate my feelings? 

He turns his head to face me and his expression is sombre. Shivers are sent down my spine. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Obliviate, for fuck's sake!

Will scans my face and averts his eyes. Thinking over how to deliver the news. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about how I'm supposed to cope with the news.  _How the fuck am I supposed the live with the news?_

"I mean. A'right." I furrow my brows. Alright? Alright. What is that supposed to mean? Will is still staring off at the floor, unaware of my confusion, and most importantly, distress. When he finally does look at me, his lips lift into a smile. Cheeky bastard.

"Don't overthink it." 

 _Overthink it!?_ I swear to God-

Before I can get any words in, Will advances forward and engulfs my lips with his own. His hand lands on my hip and my eyes widen. A thousand thoughts buzzing through my head all at once. Questions, confusion, anxiety, relief. But, I find comfort in Will's words. Don't over think it. 

So I don't. Even if I should.

My eyes fall shut and I get lost in the feeling of Will's mouth. The way it slides over mine with a perfected elegance. My hands slither around Will's neck to tangle in his hair. Will works open my lips and shoves his tongue inside when I least expect it. I moan into his mouth and Will curves his tongue around the back of my teeth. Our lips mould together and I whimper when Will pulls away.

I claw at his back, trying to drag him back down with little success. He chuckles at this and when our eyes meet it all comes flooding back. Not the uncertainty, but the passion. I  _love_ this man. I'm sure Will can see this in my face as he pops a grin.

"I'm not sure if I love you, but I know that I want you. Every part of you, Ste. I _know_ I can love you if you give me some time." Will's voice is timid and it sends heat to my cheeks. Call me naive or stupid. Maybe I'm a little crazy, but can you blame me? It's William fucking Lenney promising me he'll be able to love me.

And that is something else.

"Fuck yeah. Of course. Yeah. C'mere," I mumble, stretching my arms around his neck and pulling him down to me. Will laughs and resumes his prior position on top of me. Our lips meet and it's fireworks. 


End file.
